Got a toothache? Call Glenn Beck

I switched dentists last week.

The main reason is because my favorite hygienist changed jobs.

The second reason is because every time I went to my old dentist’s office, I felt like I was in one of those timeshare circuses, being high-pressured to buy stuff I didn’t really want and couldn’t really afford.

I didn’t even know my new dentist.

When I heard his name, I almost ran back to the timeshare pressure.

My new dentist is Glenn Beck.

“Does that mean he only works on the RIGHT side of our mouths?” I joked when I heard the name.

“He probably wouldn’t touch anything on the LEFT.”

Ha. Ha.

No, this Glenn Beck is not the outgoing Fox News nut who thinks everyone who doesn’t believe his idiocy is a Hitler-loving Nazi.

No, my Glenn Beck is a good Hooterville Falls home boy.

I don’t know his political beliefs and don’t care.

Just keep Louise around to clean my teeth and don’t try to sell me a new mouth.