Now we have a dog park without water

The people running Hooterville Falls built us a coliseum. But they forgot a few things while spending more than $20 million to do it. Like a press box, a decent sound system and, at first, hand railings. Now, like I have written here many times, we have one of the worst civic coliseums known to…

The fickle finger of fate awaits

Got a postcard in the mail this week reminding me that it’s time to make an appointment with my urologist. And I am looking for any excuse I can find. I am really, really busy at this time of the year. Can’t we do this some other time? Or maybe another century? I checked my…

Mother’s Day in a lonely graveyard

I went to visit my mama yesterday. I stood by her grave at the Hope Cemetery in Henrietta and told her about what was going on in my life. This is the 48th Mother’s Day I have been without her. Those of you who know me know that my mama was killed in a car…

“Too Tall” Jones, meet “Too Short” Norriss

The Cowboys traded Tody Smith and Billy Parks to the Oilers for the first pick in the 1974 NFL Draft. They should have locked Gil Brandt and Tex Schramm up for stealing. We never heard much from Smith or Parks after that deal. But the first pick in that draft will never be forgotten. Ed…

I’d pay to see a dead Osama

The decision to turn Osama bin Laden into fish food was a dumb one. Dumping his sorry dead ass into the Indian Ocean was explained to us as “Muslim tradition,” but some Muslims are now telling us that’s a crock. We could have paid off a big hunk of our national debt with a 50-state…

WFISD welcomes prisoners, but not the president

I read where the WFISD once again allowed three prisoners to come into our schools and warn our children about drinking and doping and shooting and stealing. Nothing wrong with that. Their “don’t do what I did or you will be where I’m at” speeches may actually keep a few of these kids out of…

Brian Urlacher was a No. 9 pick

I will watch the NFL Draft tonight. I have no choice. I am addicted to this stuff. Who’s moving up? Who’s moving down? Who’s on the clock? Knowing “Mel’s best available” player on the board is important to me. I know I am not alone. There are many other draftaholics out there. Has to be…

To tip or not to tip? That is the question

I consider myself a pretty good tipper. Maybe that’s because my mama was a waitress. She kept her tip jar on top of the fridge and dumped her change in it every day when she got home from work. A lot of that money eventually ended up in little Nicky’s pocket. So I always tip…

Got a toothache? Call Glenn Beck

I switched dentists last week. The main reason is because my favorite hygienist changed jobs. The second reason is because every time I went to my old dentist’s office, I felt like I was in one of those timeshare circuses, being high-pressured to buy stuff I didn’t really want and couldn’t really afford. I didn’t…

Why isn’t Easter as big as Christmas?

During a grandpa-to-grandson conversation this past weekend, I asked 7-year-old Nicholas why we make such a big deal out of Christmas but don’t really do much to celebrate Easter. “At Christmas, we celebrate the birthday of Jesus,” I told him. “At Easter, we celebrate Jesus’ resurrection from the grave. “I was born. You were born.…

Pat’s my pick for a last supper

If you were going to eat your last meal in Wichita Falls, where would you pick? I tossed up that question in the newsroom this week and go several different responses. My answer would be at home because my wife is a great cook. But in all fairness, the question is asking what restaurant you…

WFISD, do the math: 2 minus 1 equals 1

I read in the paper this morning where the WFISD is talking out loud about possibly closing Hirschi High School to cut a big chunk out of the budget. It’s an interesting idea that has been discussed hush-hush for years, but there is something about this story that keeps me from taking it seriously. The…

Hopefully, Hooterville won’t lose hockey

The seven-month junior hockey season is finally over. I saw only one game. I hate to admit that because I like hockey and really want this Wildcats franchise to succeed. It’s just that the Kay Yeager Coliseum is not sports writer friendly. No press box. No Nick. The short-sighted people who built the KYC didn’t…

U.S. golf following footsteps of U.S. tennis

The four reigning major golf champions are: Charl Schwartzel (Masters) Martin Kaymer (PGA) Louis Oosthuizen (British Open) Graeme McDowell (U.S. Open) Schwartzel and Oosthuizen are from South Africa. Kaymer is a German. McDowell is from Northern Ireland. It’s the first time ever than no American golfer is in this exclusive quartet. No Phil. No Tiger.…

Bristol Palin gets pregnant, gets rich

Just read where Bristol Palin was paid $322, 500 to be an ambassador for a foundation trying to prevent teen pregnancies. So let me get this right — the girl gets knocked up while she’s in high school, becomes an unwed mother when he is 17 and then gets paid one third of a million…

Thomas No. 1; Haggerty No. 2.5

In a newspaper column last week, I incorrectly wrote that if Nelson Haggerty was hired to be the Midwestern State men’s head basketball coach, he would be the first black head coach in school history. Then I get a note from MSU sports information director Trey Reed informing me that the school’s first African-American head…

‘X Factor’ the answer to WFISD budget woes

Before our school board starts getting rid of good teachers in an attempt to cut another $1.5 million from the budget,  it should consider another option that I proposed a long time ago. Take a bucket of black paint to the administration building some evening, and — beginning with the superintendent’s office — paint a…

Aggie girls peaked my hoops interest again

I woke up Sunday morning sick and tired of basketball. I have watched way too much thump-thump this past month. I am tired of hearing about dribble penetration. Please, no more mention of ball screens. Give me those red-hot Rangers, the Masters and maybe a little bit of NASCAR. Hey, the NFL Draft is just…

Deedy Wolston had a big impact on my life

Some people live and die and probably never realize the impact they had on another person’s life. Deedy Wolston, who died back on March 17, played a major role in who I am today. When I was a little kid growing up in Wichita Falls, I read the sports page of this newspaper every day.…