Obama ‘Bullish’ on LeBron; that’s tampering

Steve Kerr, the general manager of the Phoenix Suns, joked about signing LeBron James and got slapped with a $10,000 tampering fine by the NBA. Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, said the Mavs would be interested in signing LeBron and got hit with a $100,000 fine. They broke the rule. It’s a…

A baptism “hat trick,” but only one counted

First off, let me tell you that I am an expert on baptism. I have been baptized three times. A dunking hat trick for Nicky G. The first time I was 13 and did it because I had officially reached that so-called “age of accountability” and all my friends down at the 10th and Broad…

Texas could use one more King

We’ve got a lot of kings down here in Texas. Football is king. Nobody does it better than us. Ditto for barbecue. Bob Willis is still the king. Waylon Jennings sang it. I believe it. Jerry Jones has replaced Roy Rogers as king of the Cowboys. We also have the King Ranch down around Kingsville.…

Imposter out on bond for playing hoops

Guerdwich Montimere is not a criminal. He never robbed, raped or killed anybody. In fact, until now, about the only thing this guy was guilty of was having a name nobody can spell or pronounce. (Thank God for cut and paste). But poor Guerdwich is now out on bond and facing jail time and a…

Texas 24, Alabama 6; And I’m not talking football

Texas is scheduled to have back-to-back executions tonight and tomorrow. Not so long ago, my attitude would have been: “Good riddance. Fry the no-good bastards.” But my opinion has changed. I’ve just read way too many stories about convicts being released from prison after being locked up for sometimes up to 35 years for a…

Our town lost more votes than the new mayor got

Hooterville Falls has elected a new mayor. Or maybe I should stay 3,282 Hootervillians elected a new mayor. Only 5,775 of us bothered to go vote. So Glen Barham won the mayor’s seat in an election that drew only 9.9 percent of this town’s registered voters. 90.1 percent of you didn’t vote. It’s not that…

Hug your mama; I wish I could hug mine

I wrote this several years ago, and it has appeared both in the paper and on this Web site. I really think it was one of the best things I ever wrote. So with Mother’s Day coming up Sunday, I share myself and my mama with you. —— I always get kind of sentimental at…

There’s a scary resemblance between Sampley & Squeaky

For most of my life, when I heard the name “Muehlberger,” I thought of blue jeans. I bought a lot of Levis and other stuff from the old downtown store at 7th and Indiana. But from here to eternity, I guess, the name “Muehlberger” will remind me of murder. Two weeks ago Ross Muehlberger killed…

Gristmill, Gruene Hall and Kenny Wayne quite an experience

The Gristmill restaurant. Gruene Hall. Kenny Wayne Shepherd. All three have a unique greatness that made taking off a couple of days last week well worth it. It is spelled Gruene, but pronounced Green. If you have never been to Gruene, Texas, you’ve gotta go. The little town — located just off I-35 between Austin…

Kentucky Derby a nice payday for Nicky G

Hopefully, all of you out there took time to read my Saturday column. If you did — and you took my advice — you have a lot more jingle in your pocket today. I nailed the Kentucky Derby. My prediction of jockey Calvin Borel on Super Saver paid a nice 8-to-1. Nice pay day for…