Holliday-Shallowater updates

I’m at Hardin-Simmons here in Abilene and since I have Internet access — which is rare in certain places I go — I thought I would keep a running blog every inning. Whoever wins this one-gamer will play San Angelo Grape Creek next weekend in the Region I-2A finals. Here we go: 0-0 after 1:…

I ggot gscrewed gin gthe gspelling gbee.

My boss man — E.W. Scripps — crowned another spelling bee champion Thursday night. It was televised live on ABC, but I was too busy watching the Magic and Cavs to pay attention. And today I am pre-occupied with my grandson’s kindergarten graduation and the Boys & Girls Club golf scramble, so I am re-running…

First Bank, get with the game

First Bank, a bank that I used to work for and who I have a great relationship – when I’m not overdrawn, has to get with the program on their mobile website access. For about a week or two, I’ve tried checking my bank account using my iPhone, a common occurrence in Wichita Falls assuming…

Even John Grisham can write a piece of crap

I really appreciate people who skillfully do the things that I can’t do. Because I have no handy man skills whatsoever, mechanics, plumbers, and electricians are at the top of my list — followed closely by anyone who can easily open a childproof container or a large bag of potato chips. Right below that are…

Remembering the veteran on this Memorial Day

I rarely pass along e-mails, especially those that ask me to pass it along. But since I am taking a Memorial Day holiday today, I will pass this one along to help us remember why we observe this important day. It is the VETERAN, not the preacher, who has given us freedom of religion. It…

Hate is not good for the soul, especially the saved ones.

Somebody named “Anonymous” shot me a disturbing e-mail this week. First off, I can’t imagine parents naming their child “Anonymous.” The self-righteous should give children names like “Pharisee.” Fits much better. And the “disturbing” part of this wasn’t that I was disturbed by it. Hey, I’m not welcome at Pasqual anymore either. No, what is…

The Muppets Remix

Watch this mashup of Nappy Boy and the Muppets – “Dream Girl.” I did see Animal, so I’m a little excited because he would be my drummer of choice if I was in a band. This is a great product. I have totally eliminated gas and bloating by using this product in conjunction with Viagra…

MNF hires Gruden; the Cowboys should have

I quit watching Monday night football. Oh, I still glance at it — but don’t really watch it. Joe Theisman is partly to blame for it. Putting this clown in the same broadcast booth that the great Dandy Don Meredith once occupied was a disgrace. But the MNF people wised up and ran Theisman off…

Relapse

So I ran across Eminem’s new album “Relapse” and I’m impressed. The 20-ish tracks are everything a fan of the great white rapper would expect. Yes, he’s crazy. But crazy in a good way. Right? There are a couple of disturbing moments in the album, but I don’t know if I’m grossed out because I’ve…

Pro-choice president stresses living ‘as one human family’

It took balls for our president to be the speaker at Notre Dame’s graduation ceremony on Sunday. The so-called “pro-life” people have always had a nasty streak. They label teen-age girls as murderers. Seven people — three of them doctors — have been murdered by people protesting “murder.” Many others have been shot and wounded.…

Want to see Miss California nekid? Stay tuned to CNN

Forget the awful economy. Don’t worry about the Taliban. Swine flu? Just take two aspirin and call me tomorrow. We’ve got bigger news to deal with in this country. Miss California gets to keep her title. Posing for pictures in your underwear is OK — Donald Trump said so. That was all over the TV…

Lamar Street lunacy may be the death of me

Some day, somebody is going to get killed driving this 9-block stretch on Lamar Street. I hope it’s not Nicky G, but since that’s my route to lunch two or three days each week, the odds are not in my favor. Who here in Hooterville Falls is responsible for designing this obstacle course? Can we…