Britney Spears is Back

The original pop princess is back. She might be a no-good mother, she might need to check into rehab, but you have to admit she has talent. After the two baby experiment with K-Fed, and a case of the almost dropsies, Britney went back to the studio to get started on her new album. Her…

Chuck’s Wild Ride

I had an amazing weekend. I was able to work the sports beat for the weekend and cover the Hotter’N Hell, first of all, and second, I got to ride in the coolest car, a 60s Shelby Cobra, thanks to First Bank president Chuck White. Chuck agreed to be the pace car for the HHH…

In defense of the paper and Robert Jeffress

William D. Brown had a couple of bones to pick with the paper in today’s Letters to the Editor. First of all, he didn’t like us putting the story about Robert Jeffress’ switching First Baptists on the front page. He called it “arrogance” on the part of the paper. First of all, there is a…

Viva Vive Paris

See ya later expensive Wichita Falls store. Vive Paris, in the same spots its been for a while in Parker Square, is going bye bye. It’s sad, its the only place in Wichita Falls I could spend $100 on a polo shirt and leave with more self-esteem. And I liked Lacoste. It was the only…

Hotter’N Hell

I have a place in my heart for bike riders. My dad has competitively ridden a bicycle for about 20 years and he’s going to keep on keepin’ on. Heck, I rode bikes for a few years of my adolescence. I was o.k., nothing special. The point is I respect riders and more importantly Share…

Baptism at the Cove? It’s pretty cool

Some Christians have added an 11th commandment. “Thou Shalt Not Enjoy Church.” Sunday, to them, means dressing up, rushing around, bitching at each other in the car, going to Sunday School and then gathering with other holy ones in the mausoleum. Excuse me, I meant sanctuary. But many sanctuaries have the joy of a mausoleum.…

Naming a kid @? That’s just Wong.

I read where a Chinese couple tried to name their new baby @. They say it means “love him.” To most of the world, though, the kid would be “At.” And what middle name would go with that? How about #? Then we could call the kid @ # Wong. Welcome to our world, little…

Random Thoughts by Jack Handy

(That’s my SNL plug for those who don’t know btw) 1. I don’t really know what to think of the whole Mike Vick situation. I feel like he had to make a plea deal. The guy had three friends, ex-friends, whatever you wanna’ call them, roll over on him. To bad he didn’t play by…

All I wanted was a little “buzz”

I am Emmitt Smith of the Times Record News. Old No. 22. Well, I was for about 44 hours. A visitor in the newspaper office. A guest in my own home. Worse yet I didn’t even get the “visitor? privileges that one of this cheap-looking yellow badges usually give a person. No guided tour of…

Do your part to fight the War on Terror

For those of you out there who would like to do your part in our War On Terror, may I suggest the following. As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does. So…

First the pony tail — then an ear ring and a tattoo

Gimme a head with hair, long beautiful hair Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen Give me down to there, hair! Shoulder length, longer (hair!) Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair) Flow it, Show it; Long as God can grow it, My Hair! Just a few lyrics from the…

Gun Time

I think its time to buy the family, aka me, a gun for the household. Now that I have a little one I figured why risk having someone break into my house and not learn a lesson or two. I’ve been searching the ads high and low and I can’t figure out what gun I…

Original Ninja Turtles

What happened to the good ol’ days and the original crime fighters in the half-shell? I loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Splinter for that matter. Everything about the concept was genius. Don’t tell me you didn’t love “TMNT 2: The Secret of the Ooze.” Well all jumped for joy when, then hottest-rapper Vanilla…

Common – finding forever

Just picked up the new Common album “Finding Forever.” Let me tell you, its a good one. After a full day of listening to the album I’m really impressed. Kanye West does most of the production on the album and even stars on one of the tracks. For my money though, Common knows what he’s…

Front page news or Baptist-bashing?

Comedians like Richard Pryor and Chris Rock can make fun of black people and use the “n word? in their jokes for one reason. They are black. That’s why I think I have every right to make fun of Baptist. I’m a Baptist. So I joke about every time you find four Baptists, there’s always…