Archive for September, 2006

I finally took the big jump. I’m investing in the stock market.
I ran into a little bit of money, and I figured “rich people invest and get richer.”
It’s either boom or bust to me, but hopefully I can succeed.
The most important aspect of investing is research.
Don’t invest in a company until you know the inside and out of that company.
Penny stocks don’t make much sense to me, but that’s just me.

(more…)

Nobody has said for sure, but I’m betting the kid who got the Frisco teacher fired was a girl.
No fifth grade boy is going to complain about seeing a nekid statue.
Heck, nekid stuff is about all the Dallas Museum of Art would have to interest little boys.
OK, I admit, I’m art-ignorant.
When I look at Michelangelo’s statue of David, all I see is a big un.
But what would you expect from a guy 17-feet tall? That’s like two Shaquille O’Neals and one Mini-Me.
I’m digressing — sorry.
What makes art — art?
I look out the window of our building and see the “Sculpture Garden? in front of the Kemp Center for the Arts.
The elite look at some guy balanced on a blue ball and see art.
I look at it and see junk.

(more…)

Congratulations John Beard.
In the paper today, we ran a story of a night pressman, Beard, who won a million dollars through a scratch ticket lottery.
Congratulations…it sounded like he and his wife, and their three grandchildren really needed them.
I don’t really know where to say, but $1 million – holy crap. That’s a one with six zeroes. What would you do with a million bucks???
I have no idea, but I’m offering some advice for Beard and his family.

(more…)

“How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, ‘n’ how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, ‘n’ how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.?
Is that great or what?
If you don’t like Bob Dylan, quit reading this blog right now because. . .
“I don’t want to meet your kin,
Make you spin or do you in,
Or select you or dissect you,
Or inspect you or reject you.
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you.?
Elvis and The Beatles have been biggest rock stars of my generation, but Bob Dylan probably had the greatest impact on music.
Time Magazine thought so. That’s why Dylan is listed among its 100 most influential people of the 20th Century.
“Bob Dylan couldn’t wait for the music to change. He couldn’t only be a part of the change. He was the change itself.?
The young Bob Dylan demanded change. He was the forefront of the anti-war and civil rights movement.
He was our voice in the 60s.
“Maggie comes fleet foot
Face full of black soot
Talkin’ that the heat put
Plants in the bed but
The phone’s tapped anyway
Maggie says that many say
They must bust in early May
Orders from the D. A.
Look out kid
Don’t matter what you did
Walk on your tip toes
Don’t try “No Doz”
Better stay away from those
That carry around a fire hose
Keep a clean nose
Watch the plain clothes
You don’t need a weather man
To know which way the wind blows?

(more…)

Terrell Owens tried to kill himself on painkillers, according to Dallas Police Reports.
Past the ego, past the game of football, Owens is a human being.
I was stunned when I heard the news Wednesday morning.
The people with the biggest egos usually have the biggest self doubts.
He appears invincible at times. But his actions scream for helps at times.
After taking something like 35 pain pills you have to gasp.
You shouldn’t wish that on anyone.
At times T.O. was a pain in the ass, but in personal life, he has to be a lost soul.

(more…)

Two bits, four bits,
Six bits, a dollar,
Everyone tired of
This City View
Cheerleading bitching,
Stand up and holler
For the past few days, the “letters to the editor? portion of our paper has been dominated by, first, some disgruntled City View parents griping about the cheerleader uniforms — and then the rebuttal of all the cheerleader supporters.
Does anybody really give a rat’s ass about all this?
I mean, we’ve got important news going on — like Paris Hilton getting arrested for DUI and Temple, Okla., celebrating its 104th birthday.
Heck, there’s probably a gun and knife show coming to town pretty soon.
Hey right there above the letters today was a Good Old Joe Brown editorial on goat farming or sorghum prices or something else really important.
Disgruntled parents are something I have had to put up for the last 34 years.
They’ve always got something to bitch about, usually because their little Johnny or little Mary didn’t get their way.
Most of the time, the disgruntled choose to point out other kids who aren’t nearly as good looking or talented as their kids.
To me, disgruntled parents are Public Enemy No. 2 — right behind Muslim terrorists.

(more…)

The company Working Mother released its annual “top 100 places for moms to work” list, and no companies from Texas, or many based in the south, were on the list.
It’s a little surprising that none on the list were from Texas.
Do Texans still expect their working women to working women and their moms to be moms.
Maybe its a southern thing.
“Chained to the stove, pregnant and close to sink is how I like ‘em.”
That must be a statment that stands out from all the white, male business owners in Texas, who like things the way they used to be.

(more…)

The Madden Curse continues.
Shaun Alexander, the cover boy for Madden 07 is out for a while with a broken foot.
Stop putting people on the cover of that freakin game.
The news has basically ruined the fantasy seasons of 8,000,222,113 people. Or something in tha ballpark.
He had a broken something or another in his foot, so no he will sit, probably for, like, 8 weeks.

(more…)

It’s that time again.
Everyone has to do it about every three to four years, depending on reliability and cheapness. But it’s my wife and my turn to jump in the car-buying business.
No one really wants to do it, especially if there are the “factors” affecting your decision.
1. you are trying to budget in your “potential” car payment,
2. you are, possibly, upside down on you trade-in,
3. you don’t have much to spare for a down payment, and
4. you really have no clue what car is going to fit you situation.

(more…)

When I got online at home today to write my blog, I found this in my email.
My daughter wrote his blog on MySpace.
I am so proud of her. You will soon know why.
My Dad, my hero
Current mood: grateful
Anyone who knows me at all knows how much I adore my Dad. As far back as I can remember, (which is getting hazy already), I have always been a Daddy’s girl. Mom stayed at home most of my early childhood. I remember excitedly hearing his “I’m home!” at about five fifteen every day. When he had time, he took me on “baby doll days”, where it was just us two. He would take me to buy a toy, or sometimes just ride up and down escalaters at the old Sears downtown. I looked forward to those rare occasions. When Tommy or I were sick he would stop at the store on his way home from work and buy us something. Makes me feel guilty as hell for the few times I was faking!
When Mom left my Dad turned into a man few probably felt possible. I recall Tommy and myself giving him a letter that might have even made him cry. It said thanks for being a great father and mother to us. Of course when Mom was gone we were all sad. Not myself, Tommy, or Dad saw it coming. Seems strange because we were blind to about every sign possible. She could have said it point blank and we would have probably laughed it off.

(more…)

The Forbes 400 list is out, and once again I missed the cut.
But this time I was only short by $999,999,571.27.
Yeah, Bill Gates and the Waltons aren’t going to be challenged by my $428.73 net worth.
But maybe next year.
If I could just come up with some pill that could make fat, ugly women look like Marilyn Monroe.
And if I don’t, there is still hope.
No. 2 and No. 3 on this “richest American? list both started out in — yep, the newspaper business.
Warren Buffet, who is now worth $46 billion, was once a paper boy. He filed his first tax return at age 13 and claimed a $35 deduction on the bicycle he rode to deliver his papers.
Before Sheldon Adelson became a casino owner and parlayed it into $20.5 billion, he got his start selling papers. He borrowed $200 from his uncle to get into the newspaper business.
I had a head start on both of them. I started here at 64 bucks a week.

(more…)

That song by Robert Johnson couldn’t sum it up quick enough.
My dad lived in the Chicago area growing up, and then he joined the military. Last week my dad and I returned to his old stomping grounds to (1) see the Cubbies and (2) hang out with my dad’s brother.
Here are a few random thoughts concerning the “Windy City:”
1. The Cubs suck, but the lore of Wrigley Field has a way to transform the north side of Chicago into Yankee Stadium. You’re either a die-hard cubs fan, or you’re from out of town up there. There are only a few “sacred” baseball stadiums and Wrigley is up there.
2. The public transit system up there is quite an experience. The Red Line, the Blue Line, the Pink Line….it feels like you are trying to jump on the Underground Dr. Seuss Subway.

(more…)

“Ryder Cup Filth for Dublin.?
That was the headline in most recent edition of The Dubliner Magazine.
Under it was a story by so-called columnist Lou Slips, who wrote: “Most American golfers are married to women who cannot keep their clothes on in public.?
That should boost golf ratings back here in the good old USA, but right now it has done nothing but piss off Mr. Eldrick Woods.
Although the magazine took some satirical shots at Chad Campbell’s wife, Amy, “a large-chested singer.? Remember Arnie’s Army. Well after seeing this chick, I’d rather be in Amy’s Army.
It also called Jim Furyk “geeky? and said he didn’t get his hot wife, Tabatha, until his career earnings hit $15 million. Now, that’s BS. I’m betting Tabatha would have married the geek if he was only worth $10 or $12 mil.
But the real pre-Ryder Cup fuss is over Mrs. Elin Nordegren Woods — aka Mrs. Tiger.

(more…)

Sorry, I just got back from vacation and I forgot how to access this site while I was on the road.
I found out last Monday that I’m having a little boy.
That’s right, my wife and I saw “turtle” on the sonogram screen.
Man what a day.
I know you’re supposed to want a healthy baby, but a boy was my natural preference.
Now I get to do all the things my dad did with me
For instance, how about a trip to Chicago we just finished embarking upon.
What a blast.
I mean, how many times can you take a family member to a sacred ground and relive the memories of the past.
Honestly?

(more…)

The state police in Louisiana have to be the greatest law enforcers since Barney Fife.
In fact, when I think of that state trooper stepping into Willie Nelson’s tour bus and sniffing out that Willie weed, I think of Barney.
Can’t you just see him grabbing for his gun with one hand and the bullet in his pocket with the other?
Then, if he doesn’t shoot a hole in his foot or the bottom of the bus, Barney points his gun and Willie and his friends and says:
“Hands up. Hands up. I know what that smell is.?
“I just farted,? Willie says with a broad smile. “Maybe that’s what you’re smelling?
“Oh no, my friend, I know the smell of Mary Jane. You’re not messing with some hick deputy here,? Barney says. “You people are in big, big trouble.?
Then he shoots himself in the foot.

(more…)

There are some things I don’t like about Catholics.
(1.) Their funerals are too long.
(2.) Their weddings are too long.
But for the most part, this luke warm Baptist likes Catholics.
Sure we differ on how we do some things, but the cornerstone of our churches is the same.
We are Christians.
And the Muslims aren’t.
So I stand behind the Pope and what he said that has pissed off the Muslim world.

(more…)

Why is Saddam Hussein still breathing?
There have been 2,206 American military casualties in Iraq since we captured this old bastard back on Dec. 13, 2003.
Yet he is still alive.
I believe every person deserves a trial, but this is ridiculous.
Hasn’t Brittney Spears had two babies while this old fart has been on trial?
Here’s how I would have handled the Saddam Hussein trial:
Hear ye. Hear ye. The trial of this murdering bastard is now in session.
Judge: How does the mass murderer plea?
Saddam: Not guilty.
Judge: Has the jury reached a verdict.
Jury Foreman: We have, your honor. Guilty as hell.
At that point, the judge reaches down and pulls out a German Luger
and fires two shots right between Saddam’s ragged old eyebrows.
They drag his nasty old carcass out of the courtroom and feed it to some hungry pit bulls.
That’s how I would handle it.
Here’s what is really going on.

(more…)

I still plan to vote for Kinky Friedman for governor, but there is something he said Wednesday that I totally disagree with.
No, not his support for legalizing marijuana.
I am totally in line with that.
If they sold good weed at the drug store, the meth problem wouldn’t be what it is today.
And throwing people in prison for pot is just plain wrong.
I agree with Kinky’s stand on this issue.
Some people are labeling Kinky a racist because of what he said about the Katrina evacuees spiking the crime rate in Houston.
He’s not a racist. He’s a realist.
The hurricane blew a lot of “crackheads and thugs? into our state.
That’s a fact.
Kinky wants to “clean house? in several state boards and commissions.
Go Kinky.
He wants to dump the Texas TAKS test for public school students.
Do it.
But there is still one thing Kinky said that bothers me.

(more…)

While doing some research on Madonna’s controversial Confessions tour in Russia, I came across many more interesting stories from the country we used to hate.
I remember growing up thinking Russia was a really dull country.
Well, not anymore.
The country of Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev, Gorbachev and Ivan the Terrible ain’t what it used to be.
Here are some recent Russian headlines:
Man Keeps Mom’s Mummy in Attic for 10 years
A man in the central Russian province of Tatarstan has kept his mother’s mummified body in the attic of his house for 10 years before it was discovered by police Chronometer newspaper reported on Wednesday. At the interrogation the man said he saw nothing wrong in this and added that he acted within the tradition of his people.
Gay Couple Has Public Sex; Crowd Applauds
Two men drew applause from residents of Ekaterinburg in Russia’s Urals as they undressed in the street, kissed in front of the gathering crowd and finally performed oral sex on each other.
On Monday, two apparently drunk men stopped on the central street of the biggest Urals city and started dancing. While dancing, the couple stroked each other lovingly, gradually undressing and kissing passionately, the Ura.ru website reports.
People who gathered around the couple reacted quite positively, took photographs, applauded and recorded them on video. Nobody bothered to call the police or protest.
Teenage Girl Buries Aunt Alive for Selling Dog to Barbecue Shop
A 15-year old girl and her younger friends have badly beaten and buried alive her aunt for selling her dog to a barbecue shop. The girl said that the dog had come to her in a dream and asked her to punish the woman who had caused its death.
The Kurier newspaper from the North Russian region of Pskov said that the girl, Nastya Horina, called the police herself and confessed to killing her 36-year-old aunt. The girl said that her dog, which went missing about a year ago, had come to her in a dream and said that it was killed. The dog also said that the girl would soon find the killer and asked her to avenge its death.
The next day after the dream, the girl met her aunt who said it was her who sold the dog for a bottle of vodka to a barbecue shop. Nastya together with her friends who were even younger then her took the woman to a gravel pit, beat her badly and then buried the woman while she was still alive.
25 Percent of Russians Have Had Sex While Driving
About 25 percent of Russians have had sex while driving, a poll released by KRC Research and Goodyear revealed. And this is just one of the things that make them the worst drivers in Europe.
According to the research, Russians do not use seatbelts, break speed-limits, drive through red lights, drive drunk and have sex while driving much more often than other Europeans do.
The odd thing is they don’t think all this is bad.
It gets stranger: Read on.

(more…)

There just wasn’t room enough for two Diddys in Britain.
Richard “Diddy? Dearlove — whom nobody has ever heard of — went to court and sued the Diddy worth $250 million over the rights to the name “Diddy.?
So the Diddy settled out of court and agreed not to be Diddy anymore.
Richard “Diddy? — whom I like to call Dick “Diddy? — is now the only Diddy in that country.
Now the other Diddy will have to change his name.
But that shouldn’t be a problem.
He has done it six times before.
The name that his mom and dad gave him — Sean John Combs — wasn’t hip enough to be a gangster rapper, so Sean John became Puffy.
Then Puff.
Then Puff Daddy.
Then P Diddy.
Then Diddy.
You may not know this, but when he was Puffy, he had other legal problems over his name with a Japanese band named Puffy AmiYumi.
Are you still with me?
Why?

(more…)