- I can’t see the speck in Mel Gibson’s eye; I’ve got a big plank in my own
Monday, July 31st, 2006
Had his evening ended with only a DUI charge, the world would have laughed at Mel Gibson.Share
Non-believers take great pleasure out of watching Christians stumble.
It makes them feel good about themselves.
Christians are supposed to be better than them.
And when we’re not — when we’re just another one of those “religious hypocrites,? it covers them in a security blanket.
When a drunken Gibson got pulled over for doing 87 in a 45 mph zone on the Pacific Coast Highway Friday morning, he just drove one more nail into the cross.
After standing up for Jesus by directing the 2004 movie “Passion of the Christ,? Gibson had fallen from grace — not from the grace of God, but from the grace of man.
So the world laughed.
Then it got much worse.
- Go camping Bush
Friday, July 28th, 2006
Reggie Bush needs to end the holdout.Share
I know he was, in my eyes, the best player in the 2006 NFL Draft, but he shouldn’t be the highest paid player.
There is a staggered system in place for rookie contracts for a reason.
The Saints screwed it up when they told him he was going to be treated like a No. 1. But he shouldn’t.
Ever day he holds out can potentially limit his future. Running backs in the NFL last about 3, or 4 years, so I can see how every little bit helps. But $3 to $4 million in contract guarantees is small potatoes when you’re gonna’ get somewhere in the neighborhood of $50 million.
How greedy can you be?
- Happy Burgerday to you!
Friday, July 28th, 2006
Today is the 106th birthday of the hamburger.Share
Or at least one of them.
Louis Lassen began serving hamburgers at his small lunch counter (Louis’ Lunch) in New Haven, Conn., on July 28, 1900. Those burgers, served on toasted bread instead of a hamburger bun with no condiments were sold from that original location into the 1970s. The lunch counter was then moved to make room for a high rise.
Others claim Louis just followed their lead.
In his 1951 obituary in the Los Angeles Times, Frank Menches is acknowledged as the “inventor? of the hamburger. He and his brother Charles claim they started serving hamburgers at the Erie County Fair in Hamburg, N.Y. in the early 1880’s.
They ran out of pork for their hot sausage patty sandwiches and substituted beef.
The Menches family is still in the restaurant business and serving burgers in Akron, Ohio. The town annually plays host to the National Hamburger Festival to celebrate the invention.
And then there was a guy named Grandpa Oscar who had a farm just west of Tulsa. He served his hamburgers on Grandma Fanny’s homemade yeast buns and has laid claim to being the inventor of the hamburger on the bun in 1891.
Many others have claimed to be the inventor of the hamburger.
Heck, you can even go all the way back more than 800 years to the time of Genghis Khan. Old Genghis’ Mongol horsemen stayed in their saddles for days and needed food that could be carried and eaten easily with one hand while they rode.
It is said that flat patties were made from scrapings of lamb or mutton and place under their saddles of their horses. When lunch or supper time cam, they took the meat out and ate it raw.
And you just thought that last Big Mac tasted a bit strange.
- Fantasy Football
Thursday, July 27th, 2006
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!??Share
The ’06 season is heating up. Training camp has begun, rookies are no-shows and a handful of vets are underpaid or overworked.
Isn’t it great?
About every time this year I start jonesing for football. Now that I have the NFL channel, my addiction has increased tenfold.
The only way to cure it…Fantasy Football.
- Andrea Yates deserved this ‘mulligan’
Thursday, July 27th, 2006
It would be easy to be angry over the Andrea Yates verdict.Share
It would be easy to just strap this woman to a gurney and shoot her up with a super-sized dose of lethal injection.
After all, she murdered her five children. She deserves to die.
It would be easy to think that way.
It would be easy to be wrong.
Andrea Yates deserved this mulligan.
- Too much Bible?
Wednesday, July 26th, 2006
I was watching comedy central the other day and an up-and-coming comedian started slammin’ George W.Share
First the comedian commented on W.’s overall incompetence, then for his “reading the Bible” ways.
The comedian went on the say something along the lines, jokingly, as “dude, finish the book already.”
Then he continued to heckle Bush, at the same time going on into another bit about too much of something is a bad thing.
Mainly referencing the Bible, the comedian compared it to too much of “Green Eggs and Ham.”
It was his little play, only with the highly overanalyzed scriptures of the lord.
He playfully continued to read the pretend Dr. Seuss book and then turned around to the audience — with a misinterpreted message — and teasingly said “I hate the Jews,” or something like that.
But is too much of the Bible a bad thing?
- Sweet Dreams!
Wednesday, July 26th, 2006
When I want you in my armsShare
When I want you and all your charms
Whenever I want you
All I have to do
Is Dream… Dream Dream Dream
Just the other day, I was telling my wife how dreams are stupid and meaningless.
Or at least mine are.
The night before I killed a prostitute but someone else got arrested for the murder. When someone brought evidence to my son that his Dad was the real killer, he had to make a decision — Send Daddy dear to prison and free an innocent guy or let dear Daddy run free and let the innocent guy become Big Bubba’s new girlfriend.
I woke up in prison, and thank God, never met Big Bubba.
Like I said, my dreams are always goofy.
I can make you mine
Taste your lips of wine
Any time, night or day
Only trouble is
I’m dreamin’ my life away
I know of people who have dreamed they were in the bathroom and peed the bed.
Some of my guy friends have told me they have met some really sexy chicks in their dream — if you know what I mean.
The two or three times that I have, I always woke up prematurely — then tried to get back to sleep as quickly as possible to see if she would come back.
Every night I hope and pray a dream lover will come my way
A girl to hold in my arms and know the magic of her charms
’cause I want (yeah-yeah yeah) a girl (yeah-yeah yeah)
to call (yeah-yeah yeah) my own (yeah-yeah)
I want a dream lover so I don’t have to dream alone
- Cruise control is out of whack
Tuesday, July 25th, 2006
In my humble opinion, there has never been an actor like Paul Newman.Share
From Hud to Hustler to Harper to Hombre.
He was Billy the Kid and Butch Cassidy.
He was Judge Roy Bean of Pecos, Texas and Gov. Earl Long of Louisiana.
He was Fast Eddie Felson, and Cool Hand Luke Jackson.
He drove race cars at Indy and he hit Slap Shots on the ice.
Has anyone pulled off a better Sting than he and Robert Redford?
He was a gigolo to Alexandra Del Lago and a husband to Liz Taylor. But the love of his life was Joanne Wood, his wife of 48 years.
Paul Newman was also a successful businessman. Newman’s Choice started with salad dressing and has expanded to pasta, lemonade, popcorn and salsa.
The profits go to helping others.
More than $200 million has gone to things like the Hole in Wall Gang Camp, a residential summer camp for seriously ill children in Connecticut that he co-founded.
What a great man Paul Newman is.
And for awhile, I actually thought Tom Cruise just might be the next Newman.
Boy, was I wrong.
- Finders keepers, losers weepers
Monday, July 24th, 2006
On his way out of a restaurant one night, a friend of mine found a $5 bill on the floor.Share
He picked it up and stuck it in his pocket.
All the way home, his wife bitched at him.
The bitching went on and on for several days.
She kept telling him he should have given the five bucks to a waitress.
“Why?? he asked. “It wasn’t hers.?
At church the following Sunday, I told my buddy’s wife that he was right and she was wrong.
“It’s right there in your Bible — ‘Finders keepers, losers weepers’ ? I said.
Although I was joking with her about that, I did point out two Bible verses that might shut her up.
Matthew and Luke both agreed with her husband.
Matthew 7:7 and Luke 11:9 say “Seek and ye shall find.?
Well, there was a story in our paper on Sunday about a homeless guy in Detroit who was rummaging through trash bins looking for returnable bottles. Instead, he found a bunch of U.S. savings bonds worth close to $21,000 in a bag of old clothes.
They belonged to a dead guy whose family had tossed the old clothes and the loot into the garbage.
- $4.3 million = $500,000
Friday, July 21st, 2006
Weeks Park Golf Course is getting more green than the grass they have growing on their course.Share
Yet the proposed Wichita Falls skate park is slowly skidding along.
The 4B Sales Tax Board doled out project funding and the rich got richer.
The established public golf course made out like a bandit. And a lot of “young” people are left without something to do, unless mom or dad goes golfing.
What’s the deal Wichita Falls?
Amarillo has one, close to building a second, and even Lubbock has one. Heck, Bowie even has something they call a skate park.
Wichita Falls has a nothing.
Score: other cities our size – 1, Wichita Falls – big fat goose egg.
- Bob Barker is my hero
Friday, July 21st, 2006
Bob Barker is my hero.Share
No, it’s not because he is rich and has long legged beautiful women working around him every day.
Nor is it because every woman in America seems to want to touch him, hug him and kiss on him.
It’s not even because he has hair.
Although I wouldn’t mind all of that, it’s not what makes me admire this man.
Bob Barker began his career as a game show host back in 1956.
Now 50 years later — at age 82 — he is still on the job and doing it better than ever.
That’s what I hope to do.
I know a lot of my friends talk about how great retirement is going to be.
But I don’t want to retire.
I love what I do.
I want to do it forever.
I want to be Bob Barker.
When the calendar hits 2022, I want to be like Bob — celebrating my 50th year in the business — and having people say I am as enthusiastic about my job at age 76 as I was at age 26.
And I am doing it better than ever before.
- Dr. Pepper
Thursday, July 20th, 2006
I have a weekness, and Dr. Pepper is it.Share
I’m trying to cut back and I think I’m almost there, but the cravings are crazy at times.
I read in men’s health the lasting affects that carbonated, super-syrup’d beverages can have on the body and I don’t want to think about them.
Something about drinking a Dr. Pepper, especially the first drink, is about as refreshing as it gets, well except for Bud Light, but that’s another problem.
- Awkward situation ?
Wednesday, July 19th, 2006
I’ve never been to a gynecologist, and on Monday I had my first trip.Share
No, not for me, the trip was “officially
- Not now, Lord, I’ve got a 1:30 meeting
Wednesday, July 19th, 2006
I really believe that when Christ’s second coming happens, most Americans will be stuck in some meeting.Share
When that final trumpet sounds, many of us will wake up, sit straight up in our chair sand start nodding our heads in agreement to everything that the boss has been saying.
People here at the paper are always meeting about something.
Sometimes I think we have meetings to plan other meetings.
Just this week I was asked to attend a “weekend meeting.” So today at 3:30, I will be in that meeting. It will follow my regular 1:30 SEF meeting.
I really wonder how many of the 19 or 20 people who have to attend this weekly meeting really know what SEF stands for.
It’s a meeting where the BB, the BC, CW, HR, IT, other TRN BS(s) and LOM get together and talk about things like CM, AR, PBS, DPS, PTO and various other subjects straight out of a can of alphabet soup.
In this meeting, unlike some of the others, I think the BB (big boss) really wants people to speak up and tell the truth, but that’s hard for some of the other TRN BSs (big shots) to do, so the meeting is usually filled with a lot of smiling faces and nodding heads and “Yes sirs.”
Then when it comes time on the agenda for LOM (little old me), the BB says, “Nick, do you have anything?’
I say “No sir.” and go back to daydreaming about cold beer and my Wednesday night poker game.
I’m not even sure why LOM is at this meeting with all the TRN BS(s).
Comic relief and common sense are the only reasons I can think of.
Or maybe, since the BB that first put me on the list was a woman, I am there for my sexual magnetism.
- ‘Go Israel!’ ‘Boo Hezbollah’
Tuesday, July 18th, 2006
As for what’s going on in the Mideast these days, all I can say is…Share
Yep, any time there’s a fight between the Muslims and the Jews, I’m always on the side of the Jews.
For one thing, we have the same God.
The right one.
And we still have the same enemy.
So although the Jews missed the boat on the Messiah thing, Israel is still the good guy in all this mess, although I know that at times it may not look like it.
I like their style.
This is a country that has been in and out of captivity since the beginning of time.
Hitler tried like hell to wipe them off the face of the earth.
Terrorists, living in their own backyard, continually attack them.
Muslims don’t want peace with Israel. They want the extinction of Israel.
So the Jews fight for their very existence.
- Chili Dog Gholson?
Monday, July 17th, 2006
Celebrities sometimes give their kids the strangest names.Share
Frank Zappa named his baby daughter Moon Unit.
Jermaine Jackson — one of the Jackson 5 and the brother of Michael and Janet — named his son Jermajesty. (Jermaine, whose middle name was LaJaune, later became Muhammad Abdul Aziz).
Urban legend had Grace Slick naming her baby girl ‘god,” but it was really China.
Maybe the stupidest name of all was the one former Texas Governor James Hogg gave to his only daughter.
She was Ima Hogg. (Strangely, she lived 93 years and never married and got rid of Hogg).
One year when I was covering the state track meet, there was a girl there named Miracle Fingers.
Also a few years back there was a girl high school basketball player in Texas named Dixie Land.
Why do people do this to their kids?
I mean, if your last name is Head, you don’t name your son Richard — unless you think it’s funny that he go through life being called Dick Head.
And then there was the Ho family from China, who had a so named Phat.
- Black Sports Journalism
Saturday, July 15th, 2006
Scoop Jackson, of ESPN and SLAM magazine fame, recently posted a story on the wide world of sports website pointing out the lack of black sports journalists in America.Share
Then he went on to point out that only 4 – count ‘em – sports editors exist at ASPE newspapers.
What is America coming to?
I understand his point with an overwhelming lack of diversity, but what does it matter?
I’m not saying racism doesn’t exist, especially in sports, but pointing out that there are about 300 black journalists, and 4 black editors, in the U.S. doesn’t make sense to me.
The majority of NBA players are black; the majority of tennis/golf/hockey players are white. The majority of NFL players are black, and the NHL is a majority white. Baseball is the most diverse sport, besides soccer, in America. You have Mexicans, Latin Americans, Asians, Whites and Blacks.
But why does it matter who writes the news. Last time I checked, newspapers have and will always be printed in Black and White.
- Spicy Chicken War
Friday, July 14th, 2006
McDonald’s is waving the white flag.Share
In the land of food wars, Wendy’s has delivered the one-two combo to the chicken fast food giant.
After a couple of months McDonald’s is pulling its Spicy Chicken Sandwich off its menu in favor of some other snack food.
And Wendy’s is heating up the competition even more, so to speak.
Soon they will amp the volume on their already spicy sandwich and make a “4-alarm” chicken sandwich.
I can’t wait.
- Gone Fishing
Friday, July 14th, 2006
Taking a day off to recuperate from Peter Tork’s show at Iron Horse last night and to play a little golf this afternoon.Share
If you need a Nick Fix, check out some of my old blogs today. Maybe you missed one.
See you Monday — Nicky G
- Another Dimension
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
So I was at a area family clinic’s version of an emergency room the other day when I saw something that caught me by surprise.Share
But other – somewhat unsightly – dimensions added up to a crazy scenario when the event unfolded.
A mother, probably in her late 30s or early 40s, was sitting with her tow-headed daughter, about 4 to 5-years old, filling out the needed paperwork for the clinic’s requirements.
First strange observance…the girl was wearing a pink shirt and a diaper. That’s it, nothing else. No shoes, pants or socks were present at the time of the incident.
I didn’t pay that much attention to it mainly because we were sitting at the hospital. It’s hard enough dressing a kid, much less a sick kid who has to go the hospital.
The daughter was sitting on the mom’s lap as the mom was filling up paperwork, then all of a sudden….RALPH.
The little girl threw up all over the place while sitting on her mom’s lap. It got on the floor, on the chair, on the paperwork (I’m guessing) and on mom.
The clinic staff didn’t really do much to help. I’m not sure if they didn’t want to deal with the vomit, or if they couldn’t hear the violent sounds of a little girl throwing up all over her mom.
Wait for it, it only gets better and better (trust me).