Where’s Lance when you need ‘em?

The Tour de France starts Saturday and Lance declined to defend his titles. (Too bad that whole marriage with Sheryl Crow didn’t work, by the way) The 2007 Tour was supposed to give everyone else a chance, but just forget that. Early Friday three of last year’s top Tour riders were kicked to the curb…

More “oooga booga” from Osama bin Butthead

Osama bin Butthead has made another recording. But what’s new? It seems like the world’s most famous terrorist is doing more recording than his favorite group — the Dixie Chicks — these days. This new one is 19 minutes — almost two minutes longer than In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. In it, Osama says: “Ooga booga booga. Ooooooga. Boooga.…

Congratulations to Me!

I found out recently that I contracted the worst sexually transmitted disease known to mankind – KIDS. For now it’s only one, but I heard after the first, it gets harder to stop. Kids show up in the family like a VW full of clowns.(without the big shoes of course) My friends tell me they…

SOMEBODY — go swim in another punch bowl

The First Baptist Church opened its doors to the Wichita Falls Independent School District’s back-to-school teacher assembly last summer and somebody got offended. To quote the great philosopher Gomer Pyle — “Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!” Notice I said ‘SOMEBODY” got offended. That’s a singular noun. But as the pool hall philosopher used to say: “One little…

He loved the little children of the world

Newspaper obituarites never do life justice. A person is born. A person lives. A person dies. A funeral is scheduled. Their family must now carry on without them. Most people deserve more than that. Charles Harmon deserved much, much more. You see, Big Charlie was a great man. If you never met him, count it…

“Grandpa, tell me a story about God.”

Just about every week my little grandson Nicholas surprises me with something he says. I know Grandpa is prejudiced, but believe me, the wisdom this 3-year-old boy has will amaze you. But on Sunday he surprised me and amazed me like never before when he said: “Grandpa, tell me a story about God.” Now we…

I’ve finally hit the boiling point and France squeaks in

Sometime while watching four World Cup soccer games today, I finally had had enough. No, not of the soccer. Keep the games coming, I’m loving every second of it. I’m talking about the refereeing, which has been sloppy, overly-cautious and downright deplorable at times. I wasn’t pleased with the red card of U.S. midfielder Pablo…

Rest of the Best

The deadline for turning in your 2006 Texoma’s Best Ballots is Friday. So here are my final endorsements in the “Best Stores? category. Sorry for all the “no opinions,? but I’m not a big shopper. Best Antique Store. Astonias Antiques and Uniques on Monroe Street Best Auto Parts Store: Auto Zone on Kemp Best Boat…

What’s next — Brother Bill and Sister Lambchops?

Having sat through Graham Ball’s funeral — which was longer than “Gone with the Wind” — I know I will never be an Episcopalian. In fact, I try to avoid friendships with Episcopalians just knowing that I will never, ever sit through another one of those marathons again. If there ever was a chance in…

My God, what do we really know?

I go to a men’s Bible study at my church bright and early every Tuesday morning. To me it is a time of important spiritual male bonding. Sometimes, our little group of guys gets into some pretty interesting discussions — like today when the subject of pre-destination popped up. If God is the creator of…

My new favorite player and France is in trouble

Just a day ago while watching Iranian soccer in a hypnotized fashion, I discussed with my friend John about the super coolness of some foreigner possessing an American name. Like if Japan had a forward named Tom. Or if Ghana’s defender was named Brett. At that time, I had no idea about Fred. He’s now…